Fundamentally, we have sex “because touching erogenous zones feels good,” she tells me — and while we’ve been conditioned to see the experience as a task-oriented one, it’s also possible to treat it as an “experimental process” or “a journey that may just loop back around on itself,” Möbius strip style.
But also, READ THIS BOOK if:
- you're a straight cis dude of a certain age who doesn't get [why it says straight or cis before dude, MeToo, the big deal about consent stuff, why its anyone's business what "2 consenting adults" do in the bedroom, why "locker room talk" matters, etc. — looking at you Gen X and Early Millennials]
- you came out of the MeToo resurgence wondering if you had ever sexually assaulted someone in the past (and had an urge to do something about it)
- You're a white feminist (especially if you are really deeply into #Hustle culture) who thinks elevating women is the same thing as fighting to dismantle oppression. (From a Review: "Alptraum makes a noticeable effort to talk to (and listen to) women who are often completely left out of conversations like these — queer and trans women, women of color, Muslim women, late-in-life virgins, sex workers, asexual/ace-spectrum women, etc.")
I know that sounds like I'm picking on those groups. However, as someone who helps others navigate consent, intimacy, and communication, there are stories in this book that stay in the forefront of my brain as representative of en experience I did not realize people had. I'm immersed in those spaces as a member and socially and these are our "end of the night" conversations.